Unresolved

Got in my truck to leave for the office a few days back, and as I was pulling out of my parking spot, I couldn’t help but notice a big glop of bird ummm…bird poop… smack in my line-of-sight on the windshield.  No problem I thought, as I reached for the windshield washer knob.  Nothing came out.  The reservoir was empty.

I could of course still see safely, so I drove on to the office.  There, faced with the usual assortment of work matters, I promptly forgot about the problem.

Leaving the office a few hours later, there I was again, looking at my world around a big glop of bird poop.  Of course, the windshield washer reservoir remained empty.

As I rolled out, seeing the way clearly enough but not really enjoying the ride, I had an insight.

That glop of bird poop is like unresolved issues in life.  It’s not going to stop me from moving through life, but it certainly degrades the experience. I can still see around it, even a little bit through it, but it makes for, let’s say, a crappy experience.

It also became clear, pending a rainstorm in this case, that bird poop was not going to clean itself.  Nor was the windshield washer reservoir going to fill itself.  I needed to be intentional.

At the next light I took my bottle of Sam’s Choice drinking water and reached out the window to wet the windshield enough so that the wipers could do their job.  I took deliberate, proactive action.

What’s the bird poop on my windshield of life?  What unresolved issues have yet to be confronted in the spirit of truth and reality?  For what issue have I not sought thorough, transparent reconciliation?  Have I wronged someone and not made it right to the best of my ability? Are there problems in my business that I keep pushing to the bottom of the pile, in hopes the problem goes away?

If that specific bird poop doesn’t come back (of course it won’t, it can’t), it’s likely I’ll get pooped on again, sooner than later.  Keeping that windshield clean is not a one-time proposition.

So, three days later, what have I not done?  I’ve not gone to the Walmart for a jug of windshield washer fluid.  

Today.  For sure.  Today.  I keep telling myself.

Values. And a Banana.

I had the opportunity to speak to the marketing classes at Bentonville High School this week.

While the focus of the talk was the structure and function of my business (ie: what I do), one question led to a response regarding my company's (and my personal) core values. Very simply, they are:

1. Operate with ethics and integrity

2. Have fun

3. Having fun means doing my very best for clients and partners to help them to win.

Pretty straightforward.

One of the students asked me, what do I do if I had to work with someone who was difficult, someone I really didn’t want to work with (making if of course, difficult or impossible to have fun). Great question and I had to think fast.

But first, the banana.

In 1996 I was being recruited from my job to a bigger role in a smaller company. The interview process sailed along, and finally I was flown to south Florida for a final round of interviews.

Met at the Embassy Suites “free” breakfast buffet by Kelly, an executive from the new company, the discussion went well. Kelly and I really connected. I threw down a big breakfast (was not as health conscious in 1996 at age 35 as I am now). Kelly, my soon to be colleague, had a banana.

At the conclusion of the interview, we were leaving and Kelly stopped at the hostess stand to say that he was not a guest and needed to pay for breakfast. Twelve bucks. For a banana.

So Kelly paid for his twelve dollar banana and we left.

How easy it would have been to rationalize skipping out on the twelve dollar banana: It’s a thirty-five cent banana. Our company spends thousands putting travelers on their property every year. It’s a banana!

Clearly, this one stuck with me.

So, back to the student’s question, and here was my answer.

First, in any conflict, I never discount the possibility that I may be the problem. Something I said, did or didn’t do. I know myself well enough to know that it is possible, maybe even likely, that I could be the problem.

So, satisfied in a situation that I’m NOT the problem, then maturity dictates that there are times one has to take the good with the bad. The bad would have to really outweigh the good for me to walk, to not agree to work with that person (or company) again.

If the bad is a clear cut integrity or ethics issue, then we’re done.

Timeless Leadership Lessons from Bo Cox

Who is the LEADER in this picture?

Having been blessed with a veritable cascade of outstanding managers and leaders, mentors, in my career, one standout was Captain Bo Cox, Armor, U. S. Army.

Bo was my first company commander when I was a young platoon leader in the 24th Infantry Division. Along with my fellow 2nd Lieutenants in C Company, 4/64 Armor, winning was expected, routine, and even fun under Bo’s (we called him Captain Cox, of course) leadership.

Bo was actually Carlisle B. Cox III, a third generation armor officer. Not a perfect man (who is?), Bo was 30, a little overweight, liked his beer, and was the biggest nicotine addict I have ever seen. Bo would dip Copenhagen smokeless tobacco in one cheek, stuff Days Work chewing tobacco in the other, and smoke a cigar…at the same time!! So, it would not be unusual to find his team of junior officers, all emulating our fearless leader, with chew stuffed in our cheeks and not a dry spot on the ground within six feet of where we were gathered.

Much of my foundation as a leader was formed by serving under Bo Cox, and much of what I do as a business leader everyday goes back to these examples he set:

Understand you have a serious responsibility, but don’t take yourself too seriously.

A company commander in the army has a great deal of responsibility in both peacetime and wartime. Care and accountability for equipment valued in the multi-millions, and responsibility for the discipline, development, well-being of 50 or 60 soldiers and junior officers fall on the Army’s company commanders. Even so, Bo was a man of good humor. Bo was confident in his abilities and talent, which meant he was secure enough to be himself. He was no poser.

Don’t jump to judgment.

A commander in the army has a great deal of power over subordinates. Understanding the gravity of his decisions, Bo made sure he got all the facts before passing judgment. He realized that one (or two, or three) people saying something doesn't make it so. There are always multiple points-of-view to any situation. He had the maturity to know as fact that one can never really know another person’s motives and perspective. Bo based decisions on demonstrable facts alone.

Have compassion

I observed Bo make a decision that sent a soldier to jail. This soldier had a severe alcohol problem, and after several offenses was sent to “the brig”. Through this, Bo did not judge the person, only the offense. He sought multiple opportunities to get the soldier help.

My first platoon sergeant was a performance problem. Bo mentored me in the art of managing through performance problems, lessons that I have applied throughout my career. Most people, he taught, want to perform. He modeled that a leader must take the good with the bad in any person, making the most of the “good” and seeking to improve the “bad”.

Have courage

We didn't go to war from 1983-1987 when I served, and that's ok with me. I have no doubt that, had we gone to battle together, Bo would have been a model of physical courage.

However, I did see Bo model moral courage, stand up to politics, do the right thing when there was no immediate benefit to himself. He had a bias for principles of fairness and common sense, and would speak his mind, even to senior officers, when he saw those principles violated.

Show me, don’t tell me

In my experience, the U. S. Army is the ultimate meritocracy. Many of my colleagues got their commissions through the USMA at West Point. Many others, like me, were commissioned through a university ROTC program. A few came through Officer Candidate School. Bo didn't care how we got there, he cared about demonstrated, measurable performance. “Talk is cheap”, he modeled. “Show me, don’t tell me”.

Deflect credit; accept blame

C Company was well trained, combat ready, and qualified to the highest standards. Whenever possible, Bo would deflect credit to his junior officers, NCO's and soldiers. Likewise, he willingly took responsibility for mistakes. I never saw Bo throw anyone under the bus. Or the tank.

Timing is key

Bo always seemed to know when to praise, when to provide a kick to the rear, when to press, and when to give relief. A knack for timing is invaluable in leadership, whether one is leading a tank company, a business unit, a single subordinate, or a child.

On one occasion, I was complaining to Bo about something or another. He called me out for being a "whiner". Because I knew how much mutual respect we had, and how invested he was in my development, that hit home hard. And I was being a "whiner"!

Have fun

Bo managed to inject fun into almost any situation. On one training exercise, we were moving our company of M60A3 tanks across a muddy field. By mid-afternoon, every tank was mired in mud up to the top of the tracks. Many commanders would have flipped out. Not Bo. He stood the company down for the night, and when the lowered temperatures firmed up the ground the next morning, we had “vehicle recovery” training.

It was a privilege to serve with an amazing group of combat-ready young officers. And we did have fun, working and playing hard, under Bo Cox’s direct leadership or influence.

There could not have been a better leader for such a formative period in my career than Carlisle B. Cox III. "Bo".

Leadership Basics from Gen. Schwarzkopf

Veteran's Day stimulates recollections that as a young officer I worked for then Major General Schwarzkopf in the 24th Infantry Division (Mech) in Ft. Stewart, Ga., part of what was at the time called the Rapid Deployment Force.

From my view in the cheap seats, "the Bear" was everything he was advertised to be after Desert Storm, a soldier's soldier who prepared his troops for victory. He did this with genuine concern for his troops and their families’ well-being. As young soldiers in the 80's we knew that if we were to go to war, we would win decisively and with minimal casualties. And seven years later, that's exactly what General Schwarzkopf did in Desert Storm.

How did this care for subordinates manifest itself?

General Schwarzkopf fostered a commitment to excellence, from the discipline of the post to the manner in which the 24th trained. A leader can do no higher service to his or her subordinates than to provide a climate that demands a level of excellence and preparation to help to ensure mission success. Our division motto was “First to Fight” and it was embraced by the entire division. There was a confident swagger at all levels that suggested we knew we would be, would be prepared to be, the first into the fray.

High morale was maintained. I was stunned to learn that weekend training was banned, and if soldiers did have to train on weekends, we got comp time. Comp time, in the Army!? Yet with keen attention to discipline and detail at all levels, we trained hard, worked hard, and maintained hard. As a result the 24th ID was the tip of the spear into Kuwait and an integral part of the overall success of Desert Storm.

The pine forests and swamps of southeast Georgia did not make Ft. Stewart the garden spot of military posts for soldiers or families. However our family quarters were well maintained and support services responsive, medical and dental care was first rate, and soldier’s barracks were clean and modern. It was not a bad place to live and work.

General Schwarzkopf’s leadership permeated down and throughout the 24th ID. I was personally influenced by several great leaders there, many of whom went on to much bigger jobs, but the climate came from the top. Many of us were forged as leaders, and as men and women, by the experience of serving under the leadership of “the Bear”.

Don't Be Stupid

It may seem obvious.

In the mid-80’s, a group of junior US Army officers in my battalion were planning a bachelor party for one of our peers. Now don’t jump to conclusions. We weren’t a bunch of unprincipled savages who were planning a drunken, depraved, wild bash.  In fact, we were a group of educated, (generally) responsible, moral, enthusiastic young professionals endowed with a great deal of accountability, who wanted to celebrate with one of our esteemed peers. 

Plans coming together, three self-appointed party organizers went into the office of our new battalion commander, Lieutenant Colonel Long, to let him know about the gathering, and even to invite him. 

Without saying a word, LTC Long turned in his chair, reached for a book on his credenza and placed it on his desk in front of us. It was his copy of the UCMJ, The Uniform Code of Military Justice. He opened it, and as effortlessly as a Southern Baptist preacher looking up John 3:16, found what he was looking for. 

He then read an applicable passage aloud. Though I don’t remember the exact wording, the particular provision concerned bad behavior by commissioned military officers. It further outlined the potential consequences of that bad behavior. One can imagine it was a brief but sobering discussion.

It’s likely that the bachelor party was toned down from what some in a bunch of spirited 24 year-old men may have had had in mind. And while we may have muttered, a little, about LTC Long being a buzz-kill, he may have saved a dozen or so young men’s careers and futures. LTC Long didn't attend the party, but he was present. As the leader, he made sure he was the adult in a room he wasn't even in.

This episode stuck with me. It probably informed caution over my, and probably some of my peers, subsequent military and business careers. 

There are times when someone needs to be the adult in the room, for everyone’s good. Be the adult in the room. Don’t be stupid.

More Sauce.

I was confronted with one of the most profound business lessons one afternoon at a mall diner in St. Louis.

My instructor was the waitress, Ashley D. In fact, the lesson she revealed to me, albeit unwittingly, can be found in almost any problem in business, leadership, or personal interactions!

Along with Auntie Ann’s Pretzels, Orange Julius, and Sabarro, nothing says “mall food” or "food court" like a gyro. Wherever you are, if you are eating gyros, it is very likely you are in a mall. Even on a visit to Greece, when I did have gyros, I THOUGHT of being in a mall.

So, at The Diner of Mid Rivers Mall, with high hopes, I sat down on a counter stool and ordered a gyro. With fast and friendly service, my order was placed in front of me. I took a bite of the meat (what is that mystery meat in mall gyros anyway?), and my teeth slammed together as though I were trying to chew chocolate pudding, reminiscent of my first and last experience with kidney pie. The meat was cool, wet, and worst of all, mushy.

When Ashley came by, I very politely told her that the food didn’t appeal to me, that the meat in the gyro was mushy. Her cheery reply: “Can I get you more sauce?” Well, I smiled and told her this was a problem that couldn’t be solved by more sauce, and I requested tomato soup and crackers.

Sitting at the counter reflecting on this common exchange, I had to laugh. It was one of the funniest illustrations of a common predicament ever. It was truly reflective of how we approach problem solving in business, personal issues (marriage, relationships, parenting), even, maybe especially, in government.

Sales slipping? Offer your customer a quantity discount. Shipping problems? Offer the customer longer terms. New product not selling? Drop the price. Sell it to more customers. Competition taking your business? Replace your salesman. These solutions, on some level, represent “more sauce”.

How about at home? Kids missing curfew? Make it 11 p.m., instead of 1 a.m. Spouse distant, not communicating? Show him with the cold shoulder treatment. Kids a little despondent? How about a new video game! Relationship problems? Find a new partner. These solutions amount to “more sauce.”

There are applications in the complex world of governance as well. Our current system is so tainted with favors, entitlement, corruption, and other claims to privilege, that whatever the side of the political system you claim as home, it is almost sure that your leaders claim that the solution to our cultural problems is more of their particular brand of sauce.

No solutions offered to these brief examples, simply these thought-provoking questions:

When confronted with a problem, does the instinctive reaction reflect thoughtful, creative, long-term problem solving process?

Is the solution founded on solid principles and values and does it identify and address the real problem?

Or does it amount to more sauce?

Are we going to continue to make choices, continue practices, offer customer solutions and elect leaders that only offer more sauce?

The soup was delicious.

In a Situation

There are things that are true, that we both know to be true.

There are things that you know to be true that I don’t know about. 

There are things I know to be true that you don’t know about.

There are things that are true, that neither of us know about.

There are things that you think are true, that aren’t true, that I don’t know about.

There are things that I think are true, that aren’t true, that you don’t know about.

You are going through things, under pressures, that motivate your behaviors and decisions, which I don’t know about.

I am going through things, under pressures, that motivate my behaviors and decisions, which you don’t know about.

Not as simple as it seems, is it?